Random (yet atrocious) songs I (dis)like...

Since people have apparently been a bit bored of the onslaught of mediocre yet entertaining movies, thought that I should probably look at a wee bit something else. Songs perhaps...so voila el habibi people! (Whatever that meant...). Presenting you with an intriguing list of the top 5 most mmmmmm (thinking what to appropriately write)....err whatever..... SONGS!

 5. Sarkai Leyo Khatia Jaada Lage: This one refers to the most talked about jodi in the mid 90's era. No certainly not Govinda and Karishma Kapoor...Govinda and David Dhawan. Only such a jodi could come up with such a boisterous and self embracing song. I mean literally self embracing since the song actually talks about moving the bed since its apparently cold outside.


Food for thought: This exemplifies the perfect excuse to snuggle up to your better half (Don’t even think of Karishma please...let her shave her eyebrows and return). Most importantly, Jaada here refers to cold or winter, with not even the remotest connection to tissue fat. Wait wasn't Govinda featured in the song. Maybe it was a different meaning. Perhaps we would never know. One of the most unwanted (gupt) mysteries of all time will remain a mystery. Till then, sarkai leyoo…


4. Yaar Bina Chain Kahaan re: At number 4, we have the infamous and evergreen Anil Kapoor, (with his equally evergreen hairy chest) swooning to the actress, who I for some reason always considered as a vamp. The song is from a movie ‘Saahib’ (who the hell names their kids like that!) focused on the beautiful game of football, and our evergreen man (with his evergreen chest hair) is the Goalkeeper, albeit the least focused player in the team. The movie is an ode to the fact that the least focused player can sometimes be the hero or the main focus of the movie. I’m sure you who are reading this have lost focus on what I am referring to.

Food for thought: The song has absolutely nothing to do with Chains, or ornaments for that matter. Perhaps since the actor was a Goalkeeper and earned a paltry salary for his service of being a Goalkeeper (and showing off his evergreen chest hair), he really didn’t have much to spend on his amore and whatever little he did his amore coaxed him to buy a chain for her. Always! So, in essence if there is no amore, you can seek the chain for yourself and keep it...


3. Made in India: The equally evergreen Alisha Chinai (absolutely no references to chest hair) crooned this song (most importantly) in India, ensuring that in spite of the nation opening up the economy to foreign investment in the 90’s, swadeshi will always remain a cool thing to wear. (Yo dude, take out my khadi kurta Man!) One finds a half nude Milind Soman attracting a not-so-nude Alisha Chinai. Any guesses why? Simple, because he is “Made in India”. Duh! Everybody knows that! Why Milind Soman is packed in a box is another unanswered mystery though.


Food for thought: One should always buy stuff that is “Made in India”. Because ‘Dil jiska Hindustani, nahin koi Inglistani (Point to ponder: the British ruled India before independence) raat aur din mujhe pyaar koi karnewala’. Get it? No? Indian males apparently have higher sexual promiscuity. But my point is: Why does he lift Alisha Chinai at the end? Higher sexual promiscuity or probably he wanted to dump her in the box and free himself. (This is getting more and more murkier by the minute).

 2. Gutur Gutur: At no.2, we have the ayeee! Mithun Chakraborty talking elaborately to (ahem ahem) cutely sweet or sweetly cute Ayesha Jhulka about how a pigeon has climbed up and is the object of envy. While this song probably parallels the feeling that Mithin has for his beau, the use of equally elaborate bird sounds in the title is baffling to say the least. Perhaps it’s just another figure of speech – “Onomatopoeia” to be precise.

Food for thought: The pigeons are just another medium hereto describe the heroine and her movements. But the sounds continue to baffle…Onomatopoeia aside, yet there is deliberate moaning and crooning in the song that entitles it to the rightful place of number 2 in this list.


1. Hai Huku Hai Huku Hai Hai: Sunil Shetty epitomized the inanity and the ambiguity of the meaning of the songs of the 90’s. Note: I have eliminated certain interesting candidates for the Numero Uno positions, primarily songs like – Ladki Sheher ki Ladki (too sexist in nature), Meri Marzee (owing to patriotism towards the end of the song) and Cholee ke peeche (too wild for the imagination). Again with extensive use of onomatopoeia, perhaps not actually….since no known species till date uses ‘hai huku hai’ as an identifiable sound. The song essentially talks about the fact that the guy/girl standing in front of the character takes the heart away. That’s it! That’s all the logic that there is to this song. Nothing too much, nothing too less….just the right balance. Hence, it has its rightful place at the numero uno position.


Food for thought: One ought to count the number of hai’s and the huku’s in the song as a cure for amnesia. Although not yet tested on animals the song is said to be a potent cure to the problem of amnesia. That you may contract migraine as a substitute, after listening to the song repeatedly however is yet to be mentioned explicitly in the disclaimer. One can nevertheless stare at Sunil Shetty’s inner vest for divine inspiration.






{Brickbats are welcome after this post! Thou shall also not share any links to this post on Facebook!}. [Photo courtesy: subwaysurfer blogspot]

Vicious Circle or Unending Conundrum?

So, we are apparently at the midst of a revolution? or are we, really? The self styled civil society brigade has seemingly brought in a new sense of hope to a generation, sensing haplessness and lethargy over the issue of "Corruption". Damn I have begun using hash tags writing this blog post as well. Call it, the Twitter syndrome. And so, it goes Facebook, Twitter, and all sorts of viral social media abuzz with interesting posts where everyone wants his/her voice to be heard. Coming back to the topic, did I just mention revolution? Some are even happily equating it as the Indian version of the the 'Jasmine Revolution' of the Mid East. Twitter had quite a few tweets abuzz with people waiting and hoping the Government of India (GOI) keeps up with its blunders and finally the revolution sets in. High Hopes and Big thoughts indeed!


So, people ask me: S, what is your take on the issue? Poignant question indeed albeit one which is extremely important as well. In India, we have an inherent characteristic of having an "opinion" about everything. Its fashionable, and the ever excited media thrives on it. Every Tom, Dick & Harry (Tinku, Dinku & Hari) want their opinion to be counted. Perhaps not counted, but at least expressed. In a nation of over billion people, there is some satisfaction at the end of the day of having your voice heard. Whether it counts or not really doesn't make much difference, you see. Anyway, while Anna has his campaign going in full swing, its funny how people are divided in two broad categories straight: Either you are with us or you are against us. (Recall Bush in 2001?) Huh?


Its amazing how majority of the people are slowly moving towards mass hysteria at the moment. Armed with little or no knowledge about the core issue, everybody ends up asking: With or Against us? Of course, if you are against us means you support corruption! How Cheap! 


Personally though, I find it hard to associate with the extreme passions at the core of this movement. Anna's version of the Lokpal bill has far too many flaws - fuzzy definitions, contentious issues, grey areas over defining how a quasi-judicial body would work with the present judiciary, and many more which need to be discussed and ironed out. There is a definite lack of reasoning and hypocrisy at its best, which is visible with the middle class on the streets today. One only wonders why the same middle class does not 'protest' the same way for Irom Devi (a lady protesting for a decade, against a draconian security forces act in Manipur) or for the youth of Kashmir/displaced Tamils, when they are killed incessantly in fake encounters or even protest against land grabs from poor farmers, who eventually commit suicide in supposedly India's second prosperous state. I'm sure most  would not have even known such problems existed in the nation. Yet, we are quick to judge and of course, quicker to have an "opinion".


There are viral sms, messages and emails sent out claiming 1456 lakh crores would return when the black money is returned to India. Each village, we are told, will get Rs.100 crore, with no need to pay electricity bills or taxes for the next 20 years. Not just this, petrol will cost Rs.25 (wow!), Milk Rs.8. To top it all, India’s borders apparently will be stronger than the China Wall & we can build 28,000 km of “rubber road (like in Paris)”, plus houses for 100 million people, 1500 “Oxford-like universities”, 2,000 free hospitals and the list goes on. And worse of all, is that educated people actually believe this! These are I believe all 'notional' aspirations and not 'national' ones. And yet, we fall in this hopeless quagmire, while some state governments pay people to have kids. Strange times we live in, ain't it? 


Meanwhile there is tamasha in full swing in the nation's parliament, with unresolved bills pending, which nobody really cares about much these days. After all, the "people" have spoken, "nationally" not notionally! The fact that NOT a single party can afford to or has yet supported the Lokpal Bill openly is lost in the bargain. You are either with us or against us? Nationally, not notionally.


Shoddy reforms, Stalled governance, snail paced reforms, daily frustrations have all manifested themselves on the roads in the form of the protest. (No,its not a revolution!) Personally, corruption as a problem in India, is not going to go away just because one man wants to make sure his version of the bill is enacted into law. It won't go away as long as this country's population continues to grow at the rate it does. It is unmanageable at present proportions & there's no way you can somehow keep a system of functioning checks & balances, with such large numbers. It simply won't work, but then who listens to reason? 


And the golden goose: Bringing the PM under the Jan Lokpal bill? That's national security suicide! People with an iota of understanding of political science & the constitution know it cannot and should not happen. We are talking about the PM as the Head of the 3 armed forces - Army, Navy, Air Force plus the Intelligence agencies - RAW, IB and the NSA. It would be hara-kiri to bring the PM under the bill. Compare our security forces and intelligence agencies with other nations. Bringing the PM under the ambit would mean compromising on national security. But then, who listens to reason?


To make matters worse - the present government's handling of sensitive issues and the plan of bringing Rahul baba as a successor seems to be idiotic at best. Rahul baba's intelligence is as good as a piece of wood - and the wood would come out better in a battle of wits. And the government continues with its idiosyncracies, lost in a warped sense of comfort. The nation is thus reduced to a screaming mass of half baked know-all loudmouths who threaten if they don't get their way, a mute hippo as the PM, a genocidal tyrant as the opposition, an economically backward option in the Left. The Dirty Dancing continues & one can only sigh!


On a lighter note, Anna apparently wants to flog any youth in public who drinks. I wonder how many people know this and would still support him? :)


[Pic courtesy ABM Enterprises]

Movie in Review: Don no. 1

So after a long and arduous professional journey in the past few months, I have finally "settled down" into something concrete. The past few months haven't really given me enough leverage on time to really post anything on this blog at all. Meanwhile a lot seems to have happened and continues to happen, especially with the recent bomb attacks on my city, that is the latest buzz. The news channels are covering it enough I suppose, so I would not delve into the same. Anyway today I review another classy Indian movie, that plays frequently on the Television these days. By the way, there is a new trend on TV these days - dubbed South Indian action movies. Needless to say, that it is still fun to watch them, if you leave your brains partly out of the socket. Im sure many would squirm with jest and fury claiming that these movies don't make sense with the obnoxious fight scenes and the invincibility of the lead actors / heroes. Firstly, I find it amusing to see that an imaginary "Lord of the Rings" or even "Harry Potter" is reason enough for people to fall head over heels. How different are these from a "Sivaji" which again talks about the victory of Good over Evil? I mean look at it from a pure entertainment standpoint. It's sad that foreign movies (read: bagloads of budget) seem to look more attractive and better than our local productions. No doubt that the quality and actors would differ, yet I believe the Indian actors do not sweat less for their roles in local movies.


Anyway back to the review....This one's called "Don No. 1"

Don no. 1 is a 2007 Indian Telugu film directed by Lawrence, starring Akkineni Nagarjuna in the lead role and Anushka Shetty, Raghava Lawrence, Kelly Dorjee, and Nikita.

The story kicks off with a teen named Surya escaping and finding a drug dealer tormenting kids. Surya guns down the drug dealer and voila we got ourselves a new social messiah! One of the boys, Raghava expresses his wish to join him, on the common grounds of being orphans. So, a new Jai-Veeru type jodi is formed and we have the age old combination of friendship leading the rest of the story. The rest of the kids become Surya's confidants and eventually his henchmen. However, remember we started with the "Good over Evil" storyline and so it continues...

One of the most amazing aspects of Indian cinema is to fast forward the movie into the future. reminiscent of Jesus Christ and his life. Some thing happen in the childhood and then there is a sudden vaccum. Nobody knows what takes place in between these 'lost' years. And suddenly everyone surface back after a good 20 odd years. And we have ourselves a lip smacking story at hand. By now, Surya (Nagarjuna) is the good Don, ably grown in power, muscle and money. But wait I forget the most important part - handsome looks! The hero has to be dashing enough isn't it? Else, how is the movie worth its salt? So, we have a smart, handsome, fairly educated (my assumption) and happy go lucky Don in play. Raghava (Raghav Lawrence) is his comic sidekick, who adores him to death. Together, they rule the underworld of Hyderabad. Since he is the unopposed kingpin, our don even has time for a song and dance on his birthday with his "basti" people.

Everything is peaceful and hunky dory.

Enter Feroz (Kelly Dorjee), a Pakistan born Don, in a crisp white shirt and trousers. {P.S.: The costume remains throughout most part of the movie. Do Don's really have a dress code? And that too, white of all colours? And why is the Don Pakistani? Perhaps because they both can at least speak the same language. Else imagine our Indian Don ranting off in pure desi tone to a Don speaking chaste French...Naah now that would be like mixing Fish fingers and pasteurized milk. Not at all appetizing!} Anyway I digress....

Feroz is a feared don throughout the world and he apparently possesses the underworlds of Canada, South Asia and a few other Big ticket locations in his kitty. Now he wants to add Humara Pyaara Bharat Desh to his underworld fiefdom. (Down with Feroz!) And the battle royale begins...Feroz here has a unique way to capture his fellow rivals. He challenges them for a physical fight and the one who falls to the ground will have his man shot. (Talk about Innovation here. Can you beat that Hollywood, ha!!) So apparently, Feroz is the world's strongest man and he wins all such duels. And guess what he gets in return as an incentive? The losing Don's wife. Now, that is reason enough to hate him to the core, isn;'t it? (Down with Feroz, Down Down! Boo him to death).

So Feroz wants to test the waters and befriends a corrupt Indian Police officer to ascertain his claim to the region. And this Corrupt Police Officer (CPO) does the unthinkable. He rapes a local Biggie's daughter and kills her, just because she frowned when CPO talked about killing Surya. Now, Surya being the Messiah hunts down CPO in a local pub and kills him by sliding a gun through the dead girl's fingers. (Im telling you at this point you have to marvel the innovation of Indian film makers, We are the BEST, I tell you!) And the crowd applauds in admiration and justice is served.

Surya gradually begins to upset Feroz, and refuses to work under him. In umpteen attempts to kill Surya, Feroz's men get killed. Meanwhile, Surya falls in love with Priya (because of the three things he wants in his wife: to be kind, beautiful, and not to be afraid of him. Now we are really moving away from the sati-savitri requirements of an Indian wife, and my heart swells with pride! Sorry I digressed again....) At first she doesn't like him but later she does.

Comic Raghava also finds a girl he likes but his fiance Nandhini, is actually on the villain's side. (Now Im really going overboard with this innovation thing!). Raghava and Priya are captured and both have an option of killing either themselves or each other. But our comic Raghav does a Jay from Sholay and ends up killing himself. But wait he also kills his fiance, before doing so. (I was really saddened by this part of the movie, since I thought Nandhini looked pretty hot and deserved a less gruesome death. But then Innovation takes priority so....). Cut to the competition, where there is an exchange of prisoners and a battle finale for survival. After a prolonged fight scene, it is finally revealed that Feroz is not impregnable and can fall to the ground often, thus losing his men and eventually being killed at Surya's hand. But the climax is Surya's final statement: "Mere Bharat Desh ko paane ka khwaab kabhi mat dekhna." (Applause everybody!)

Final Point to ponder: Does 'Lord of the Rings' give you all this? Action, Love, Drama, Orphan situation, hostage crisis, Scenic screenshots, Comedy and finally most importantly Patriotism? Stand up and applause i say :))

Melancholy

I  wish I was back at the beginning,
I wish that time stood still.
Some way I would escape this pain,
A pain with an intent to kill.

I tried oh so hard to fathom,
The reason for this needless heart ache.
Each moment it only aggravates,
Like stones thrown for the body to break.

Escape is but no solution,
Wish I could just fly.
End this stubborn delusion,
Run to the endless sky.

I'm hating this feeling of loneliness,
Absurd though it may seem.
Somehow someway I hope,
I'm awakened and this is just a dream.

Hurt it does, indeed it pains,
Though u may never see.
Don't really know but why,
Suddenly it feels so lost and lonely.